Beijing Newspeak

There was a endearing clumsiness to Xinhua’s propagandic treatment of International Day Against Drug Abuse and Illicit Trafficking (which fell yesterday by the way). On the eve of the big day, eight stories on the topic passed through my office. It wasn’t enough of course. Yesterday, an additional four stories came our way - and that was by the time I crawled out of the compound at 8:30 pm. It’s the kind of thing you can guffaw raucously (with a rabid tinge) about with a colleague but if you were polishing solo, so to speak, the only option would be to alter your mind with Class A drugs purely out of spite.

We were particularly entertained by the some of the honesty that sprung out of the copy such as:

BEIJING, June 25 (Xinhua) — The Supreme People’s Court (SPC) on Monday announced its approval of the death penalty for seven drug traffickers, a day before the International Day Against Drug Abuse and Illicit Trafficking.

Let’s not beat around the bush - this is a politically motivated announcement, it concedes. However, it’s not as blunt as this one:

Chinese and South African police yesterday announced the arrest of four Chinese men who tried to smuggle 2.5 million pills of the drug methaqualone worth US$26 million into South Africa.

The announcement of arrest, which occurred in November, of the four men surnamed Wu, Zeng, Pu and Xu comes a day before the International Day against Drug Abuse and Illicit Trafficking.

Actually, “which occurred in November” was removed by an eagle-eyed apologist but the Chinese version had that snippet of information. There’s nothing like tinkering with the justice system for promotional gains. Luckily, the eight drug traffickers seized by Chinese and Filipino police in another story only had to sit tight for a few weeks for the announcement of their arrest to be made. They timed it well. An arrest just before International Drug Abuse and Illicit Trafficking Day cuts down on all that waiting around.

Criminals in China should really make sure they carry around a calendar of these “international days” which promote the fight against one crime or another. Those on death row, such as the three drug dealers who were executed in Fujian on Monday, would have a clearer idea of the date of their day of reckoning. And for gangster celebrities such as Li Bin, the self-proclaimed “King of Shanghai’s Underworld” (or as one translation put it, “No 1 Rogue of the Bund”, which would look good emblazoned across a billboard on the banks of the Huangpu River), their fate is just downright predictable. Sentenced to death on October 25 last year, the sentence was upheld by a higher court yesterday. I hope he knows he has 364 days of living to do until the next International Day Against Drug Abuse and Illicit Trafficking.

Another “international day”, another saturation of Chinese government press releases (also paying tribute to Myanmar’s relentless effforts etc). Although, the International Day in Support of Victims of Torture, which fell on the same day, seems to have slipped by unnoticed. My main regret is that I was on holiday when World Press Freedom Day fell on May 3. Still, I shall look forward to World Population Day on July 11 when I shall learn a lot more about the one-child policy.